Ray Stantz: You know, it just occured to me that we really haven't had a successful test of
                         this equipment.
                         Egon Spengler: I blame myself.
                         Peter Venkman: So do I.
                         Ray Stantz: Well, no sense in worrying about it now.
                         Peter Venkman: Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on
                         his back.

                         Dana: You know, you don't act like a scientist.
                         Venkman: They're kind of stiff.
                         Dana: You're more like a game show host.

                         [Dana, possessed by "The Gatekeeper," answers the door.]
                         Dana: Are you the keymaster?
                         Venkman: Not that I know of.
                         [She slams the door in his face. Venkman knocks again.]
                         Dana: Are you the Keymaster?
                         Venkman: Yes! Actually I'm a friend of his, he asked me to meet him here.

                         Ray: I think we better split up.
                         Egon: Good idea.
                         Venkman: Yeah... we can do more damage that way.

                         [Evaluating a site for their business.]
                         Peter: What do you think, Egon?
                         Egon: I think this building should be condemned. There's serious metal fatigue in all the
                         load-bearing members, the wiring is substandard, it's completely inadequate for our power
                         needs, and the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone.
                         Ray: Hey! Does this pole still work? [slides down a fireman's pole] Wow. This place is
                         great! When can we move in? You gotta try this pole! I'm gonna get my stuff. Hey! We
                         should stay here. Tonight! Sleep here! You know, to try it out!
                         Peter: I think we'll take it.

                         [Business is terrible at Ghostbusters.]
                         Janine Melnitz: [answers the phone Hello, Ghostbusters... Yes, of course they're serious...
                         You do?... You have?... No kidding. Just gimme the address... Oh sure, they will be totally
                         discreet. Thank you [hangs up] WE GOT ONE!!

                         [How to deal with the Stay-Puft marshmallow man.]
                         Peter Venkman: We've been going about this all wrong. This Mister Stay-Puft is okay. He's
                         a sailor, he's in New York. We get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble!

                         Dr. Peter Venkman: Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon... what've you got left?
                         Dr. Egon Spengler: Sorry, Venkman, I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.

                         [After the Ghostbusters fail to "get" the library ghost and instead run away in terror.]
                         Dr. Peter Venkman: Hee hee hee! "Get her!" That was your whole plan, "Get her!" You
                         were scientific!

                         Dr. Peter Venkman: Mother pus bucket!

                         Dr. Raymond Stantz: My parents left me that house. I was born there!
                         Dr. Peter Venkman: You're not gonna lose the house, everybody has three mortgages
                         nowadays.

                         Egon: I feel like the floor of a taxi cab.

                         Dr. Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
                         Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
                         Dr. Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams.
                         Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
                         Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
                         Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean "bad"?
                         Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every
                         molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
                         Dr. Raymond Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
                         Dr. Peter Venkman: That's bad. Okay. Alright, important safety tip, thanks Egon.

                         Peter Venkman: We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!

                         Peter Venkman: Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it?

                         Dr. Raymond Stantz: Symmetrical book stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence
                         of 1947.
                         Dr. Peter Venkman: You're right, no human being would stack books like this.

                         Ray: Listen! You smell something?

                         Dr. Peter Venkman: I don't have to take this abuse from you, I've got hundreds of people
                         dying to abuse me.

                         Dr. Peter Venkman: 24 hours a day, seven days a week. No job is too big, no fee is too big.

                         Doctor Peter Venkman: Back off man. I'm a scientist.

                         Doctor Peter Venkman: This chick is *toast*.

                         Janine Melnitz: Do you have any hobbies?
                         Egon Spengler: I collect spores, molds, and fungus.

                         Doctor Peter Venkmann: Egon, this reminds me of that time you tried to drill a hole in your
                         head.
                         Doctor Egon Spengler: That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.

                         Doctor Raymond Stantz: Well, this is great. If the ionization-rate is constant for all
                         ectoplasmic entities, we can really bust some heads... in a spiritual sense of course.

                         Dean Yeager: This university will no longer continue any funding of any kind for your group's
                         activities.
                         Doctor Peter Venkman: But the kids love us!

                         Doctor Raymond Stantz: Where do these stairs go?
                         Doctor Peter Venkman: They go up.

                         [Dana has described seeing a terror dog in her refrigerator.]
                         Dr. Peter Venkman: Generally you don't see that kind of behavior in a major appliance.

                         Dana Barrett: That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there.
                         Doctor Peter Venkman: What a crime.

                         [Doctor Peter Venkman is opening the refrigerator door to look for ghosts]
                         Doctor Peter Venkman: Oh my God! Look at all the junk food.

                         Doctor Peter Venkman: He slimed me!

                         [Persuading the mayor to let them stop a supernatural upheaval.]
                         Dr. Peter Venkman: If we're wrong, we go to jail---peacefully, quietly. We'll enjoy it! But if
                         I'm right, and we can stop this thing, Lenny, you will have saved the lives of millions of
                         registered voters.

                         Dr. Raymond Stantz: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by
                         dickless here.
                         Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!
                         Mayor: Is this true?
                         Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.

                         Janine Melnitz: Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP,
                         clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness
                         monster and the theory of Atlantis?
                         Winston Zeddmore: Ah, if there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.

                         [Dana is possessed by The Gatekeeper.]
                         Dana Barrett: Do you want this body?
                         Doctor Peter Venkman: Is this a trick question?

                         Winston Zeddmore: Do you believe in God?
                         Doctor Raymond Stantz: Never met him.

                         Janine: Do you want some coffee, Mr. Tulley?
                         Louis to Egon: Do I?
                         Egon: Yes, have some.
                         Louis to Janine: Yes, have some.

                         Egon: Vince, you said before you were waiting for a sign. What sign are you waiting for?
                         Vince Klortho: Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the
                         rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the
                         third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him:
                         that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zools knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of
                         the Slor that day, I can tell you!

                         Doctor Peter Venkman: NOBODY steps on a church in my town!

                         Ray Stantz: Gozer the Gozerian: good evening. As a duly designated representative of the
                         City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activities
                         and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.

                         Winston Zeddmore: Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES!

                         Peter Venkman: Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown!